CHAPTER 3

• The Character Building Program
• Action Items for Chapter 3
• Commitment Letter
  

The most important component of your child’s success at the School is your commitment to completion of the Character Building Program.  This program is the result of decades of experience and practical application.  It has been thoroughly field-tested and has been proven to produce optimum results.  The Character Building Program consists of three phases. 

  
        1.  Rules and Structure Phase.  The first phase of the program is designed to help your child to learn to follow rules and to thrive in a structured environment. (Please refer to Chapter 2.)

        2.  Youth Leadership Phase.  The Youth Leadership Phase provides the opportunity for the greatest growth and development in the program.  This experience is essential for a number of reasons:

• The students begin to view themselves as part of a solution rather than as a part of the problem.

• The students have to learn to stand up to and confront their peers.  Success here is critical to their long-term success.

• The students learn appreciation for their parents and other authority figures.  Many of us adults did not really appreciate our parents until we became parents ourselves.  This phase puts the student in a parent-like role, which gives them a whole new appreciation for their own parents.

• The students begin to see and understand the need for rules, limits, and boundaries.

• The students gain a better insight into their own past negative behaviors and begin to understand why they didn’t work for them.  (The student leaders will often observe defiant new students and ask, ”Did I ever act like that?” We usually just smile and say, “Yes.”)

• There isn’t a better way to learn responsibility than by being required to have it.   The experience of having responsibility causes students to grow.
  

• The students feel needed and valued.

• The students learn how to work with others and how to serve and contribute to their success.

• The students’ self esteem and outlook is improved.

Students will have the opportunity to participate in the Youth Leadership Program in the following two positions: bunk leader and facility leader.  Each bunk of two students is assigned a bunk leader who is responsible for both of their general conduct and adherence to school standards. Facility leaders function three days a week as a staff assistant or as an assistant to a dorm parent.

The Youth Leadership Phase is that part of the program that presents the most opportunities for your child’s growth.  This position of responsibility has to be earned by the student.  Youth leaders have earned the respect and confidence of the staff and other students and can thus succeed in this position.  Due to the importance that leadership positions play in the growth of your child, we feel it is important that your child eventually has an opportunity to function in both leadership positions, but more especially as a facility leader.  The opportunity to function in a leadership role is critical for the achievement of best results.

        3.  Internalization Phase.  This is where the students apply what they have learned, and their growth and positive changes become internalized.  During the Internalization phase, the students make the transitions that will prepare them to return home.  All three phases of this program are critical, and it is essential that your student complete each one of them.  Removing your child from the program too early can be extremely counterproductive.  The following two examples illustrate this point.

• Washing your clothes without allowing them to go through all of the cycles.  The clothes may appear to be clean, but you would not even think of wearing them until they had completed every necessary cycle.  You would end up with a very itchy and uncomfortable set of clothes.

• Baking a cake. Your cake begins to rise in the oven as it bakes. 
  It may look good through the oven window, but if it is pulled out too early, it usually falls.

All phases must be completed by your child in order to produce the results that you are seeking.  Every person tends to work at his or her own pace.  The school operates on the basis of results rather than on the basis of time.  The School can only fully succeed with students who have parents that are committed to the student completing all phases of the program.  Without this commitment, students tend to put in time rather than effort, and do not make the internalized changes necessary for their long- term success.  It is imperative that your child understand, right from the beginning, that you are committed to them completing the entire program regardless of the time that it takes.  Unless you show your child that you are committed to them completing the program, they will not take their progress seriously, and will not fully engage it in the overall process.  Once they really believe that you are committed, they will begin to look at their own situation differently.  They will spend their time focused on working, rather than just waiting while holding on to their hope that you will not expect them to complete the process. Precious time can be lost if you do not show them your commitment.  For this reason, it is very important to complete the following action items.

Action Items for Chapter 3:

1. Sign and return immediately (fax, email or mail overnight) the Standard Commitment Letter a copy of which is shown below.  For a printable version of this form and others from the Parent Handbook, you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer.  If you need to download it, click here.   For the printable version of the Commitment Letter, click here.

2. After returning the Standard Commitment Letter to the School, we recommend that you send a personal letter to your child repeating to him your commitment to his completion of the School’s Character Building Program.  Your family representative will go over both letters with your son /daughter in order to help him/her realize the firmness of your commitment.

I am committed to the following:

• I expect my child, __________________________, to complete all phases of the School’s Character Building Program.  I hope that this program will be completed as quickly as possible, but I am committed to the process regardless of how long it may take.
  

• I recognize that if I need to transfer___________________________ to a treatment center, the transfer may delay my child’s return home, but it will not deter my commitment to have my child complete the program at the designated treatment center.

I hereby confirm my commitment to the completion of the Character Building Program and would like you to inform my child as soon as possible.

_______________________________